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I did look for some alien porn to set the mood but most of it appears to involve tentacles rather than ovipositors, so I decided to just lie back and imagine my own version of Close Encounters.

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Attempting a solo alien adventure means that you spend as much time chasing slippery eggs and trying to force them through the dildo as you do lying back and being on the receiving end — most of my shrieking was at escaping eggs rather than exclamations of pleasure.

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You can get sex toys that lay alien eggs inside you so obviously we tried it

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I left the eggs to set for what ended up being nearly a week, school holidays not being the best time to attempt home alien insemination.

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I left the eggs to set for what ended up being nearly a week, school holidays not being the best article via email Share this insemination. Share this article via facebook Share this article via twitter Share this article via messenger Share this with Share this time to attempt home alien article via flipboard Copy link.

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